Noah started to roll over today. The day after he turned a whole three months old. My little boy is growing up so fast. *sniff sniff* He also got a Johnny Jump-Up last weekend. The box says four months and up, but he's been standing up, while being held of course, since he was about a month old, and lately he's been trying to jump, so I thought we'd give it a try. As of now, he hasn't quite figured out that
he's supposed to jump while he's in it....he just kinda spins, but he has fun anyway. I think he likes being able to do something that Mommy doesn't have to help him with.
He's also started to sleep at least eight hours during the night without waking up, so that's been especially nice for me and Josh. Noah has had quite the developmental week this week.
Last night I was up feeding Noah and for some reason started thinking about all the strange and creepy people that seem to gravitate towards me, and I thought I'd share.
The Top 3 Strange Creeps
My last three jobs have been working in coffee shops. I started at Starbucks in 2006, left in 2007 for a small family owned coffee shop, with a manual bar, I might add, and then after moving to Fresno went back to Starbucks at the beginning of 2008. I have come across at least one creepy person at all three places.
First, I have an honorable mention. I've noticed that three of the four characters I'm mentioning wear just one dangly earring. This must be a creepy person thing. This is definitely true of my honorable mention.
Honorable Mention- Captain Jack Sparrow
I don't know his name, and even if I did, I probably wouldn't use it. This is the only CA creepy person on the list. I think he pretty much embodies what people on the East Coast think of CA when they think of people here- A bongo-playing hippie who eats granola and drinks soy....and wears a single dangly earring. Kinda reminds me of Johnny Depp's character in Pirates of the Carribian. Not only did he wear the single earring, but offers to make ONE for others as well. Maybe if there were TWO earrings more people would take him up on his oh-so-tempting offer. I never really had any exceptionally strange encouters with this person until he found out I was pregnant with Noah. He decided to tell the future for me and my unborn child. Apparently there was going to be a problem with the baby, but it was all going to turn out all right in the end. He said I was going to have a boy. He happened to be right on that one, but he had a 50/50 chance, so I'm not impressed. On and on he went predicting things that were either way, way off, or things that were likely to happen to anyone. Like morning sickness. He must be the real deal.
#3- Odessa
Just the name "Odessa" gives you a pretty good mental image
of this person. I first met her when she came to apply for a job. She showed up on a bike, and after walking slowly around the building and walking through the drive-through several times she decided the building was good enough for her to come in. She asked for a cup of water. Then went back outside to walk around the building again and then into the bathroom. I have no idea what she was doing in there, but she came back in several minutes later to get an application. Guess the bathroom was the deciding factor in whether or not she wanted to work there.
Her dangly earring was the creepiest of them all. It was a hand. Just one, long, skinny hand hanging from her ear. Apparently it was there for some sort of protection. She was 29 years old and looked like she was 12. She kinda looked like Mr. Tumnus. She was an artist. Her pants were always too short and she wore the strangest socks I've ever seen, and would offer to buy others the same socks so that they could match at work. She carried around her purse which was a teddy bear and she would sit, stare off into space, and randomly stroke the thing. She had lots and lots of pets. She asked me how my uterus was. My uterus seems to be a popular topic as you will soon find out.
#2- Craig
In my experience anyone named "Craig" is usually just a little strange. I met Craig my first day at Starbucks. He had long stringy, obviously colored black hair. He was a regular, and the pickiest customer I have ever had. He ordered a quad venti organic 180 degree no-foam latte. If there was a single bubble on top of his latte he would either insist that you give him his latte for free, or make you remake the entire drink. Just scooping the bubble off was not good enough. Craig also had a dangly earring. I think it was a dream catcher.
He noticed I was new, wanted to know my name, and then proceded to ask me if I had ever heard of Daryl Hannah. Hasn't everyone heard of Daryl Hannah? He then asked me if I had seen her in "the stripper movie" and then went on to tell me all the details of it. What would possess a person to talk to someone whom they've never met before about the details of stripping? Over the next few weeks he asked reptitively if I had seen it yet. Ick.
Later on he would probe about the details of my life, and tell me why he thought that me being married was such a horrible thing. I think one of the most inappropriate things he ever asked was if I was on The Pill or not. This however, does not even come close to the inappropriatness of my #1.
#1 Creepy Guy
I never found out this guy's name, I just always called him Creepy Guy. Not to his face of course. I avoided saying anything to his face.
At the time, I worked at the little famiy-owned coffee shop. The way this place worked was that the opener would arrive at 5am, alone and unprotected, get everything ready, and then open the place at 5:30am. The second employee would show up at 6am to help. Creepy Guy always showed up at 5:30am- When I was there by myself. Creepy guy was probably in his 50's, had shoulder length grey hair, but was bald on top, and typically wore it in a ponytail; A high ponytail, not a low ponytail like most men do. The first day he just wanted to know my name, and a little bit about me. Not too creepy. I thought maybe the strange-looking guy was just being friendly. A few days later he noticed my wedding ring.
"You married?"
"Yes"
"How long?"
"Year and a half."
"Oh, ok."
Slighty strange, but didn't freak me out yet. A few days later he was back.
"Have kids?"
"No, not yet."
"Why not."
"We just haven't had kids yet."
He then proceeded to give me a full body look over.
"Well, I know these things, and that belly is ready to have a kid in it."
I was stunned.
Two days later he was back.
"Pregnant yet?"
"No."
"Why not."
"I'm just not."
"Oh, ok."
At this point I did everything I could to avoid him, but when I was the only one there, there's not very much I can do except to try to have his drink ready for him before he even walked in the store to try to minimize the time he was actually in the building. Next visit-
"Pregnant yet?"
"No."
"Well, you're still married, right?"
"Yes."
"Do you know where to find your husband?"
"Yes."
"So then, what's the problem?"
Next day-
"Pregnant yet?"
"NO."
"You're married?"
"YES."
"And you know where to find your husband?"
"YES."
This went on for several months. Then one day, I was pregnant.
"Pregnant yet?"
"Yes, 2 months."
"Oh."
And that was the end of it. No congratulations, no nothing, just an "oh." That is the creepiest person I have ever met in my life.
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