First steps!

As my father-in-law said when he found out about Noah's steps, "Just remember what Lao-tzu said about that first step." So, I went and looked it up since I'm not fluent in Lao-tzu-

“A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”

So anyways, Noah took his first steps last night. I was such a proud Mommy. :) For his birthday, his great-grandma bought him (although, she didn't know what her money was going towards) a walker. It's the kind that he pushes in front of him. The last week or so he's gotten really good at it, and then yesterday he started a new game where he'd push it up on it's front wheels, and then let go of it while it falls. He likes the sounds it makes when it falls, and Mom likes it 'cause he's standing up by himself.

Also, for the last month or so we've been playing a game that he just LOVES that we call "Walk to Mommy." Creative name, I know. He stands next to the couch or some other large stationary object, and then will usually want to hold onto one of my fingers, and then he'll walk the two or three feet to Mommy, and of course, get a big hug and lots of applause when he gets there. Well, last night we were playing "Walk to Mommy" and all of the sudden, instead of reaching for my finger to walk to me, he just let go with both hands grinned and took the two steps to me all by himself. :) I was so proud. *tear* He took several more "one steppers" to me before falling into my arms, but then later on that night, he did a two stepper again. (Ha! A two step! I crack myself up.) I'll be chasing him around before I know it. Now we just have to have him do it in front of Josh....

In other news, I'm all done with Christmas shopping, except for one thing that I just need to go get for Noah from Toys R Us. If you read my last posts, you know how I feel about Toys R Us which is why I've been putting it off. At least this time I know what brand it is. It's an "extra" present for Noah 'cause last time I was there spending Noah's birthday money with him, we picked up Josh's Call of Duty game and ended up spending enough money to get a $10 gift card. So, I spent the money already that we had budgeted to spend on Noah for Christmas, but I still have one thing that I was going to use the gift card to buy, so now I just have to drag myself over there kicking and screaming to go get it. Blah.

Josh was in Trinidad (yes, the country) for 5 days so I kinda went Christmas decorating crazy to keep myself busy. This is the first time he's been gone for that long, and I'm definitely not a fan. It wasn't horrible or anything, and Noah was a little angel even though he was sick the whole time, I just miss him a lot, and have a hard time sleeping when he's not there. When he got home it was very Christmasy looking though, which he likes. :)

This is the first year since we got married that I haven't had some kind of long project for Christmas going on all year. Four years ago I cross-stitched Josh a stocking, the year after, one for me, and then when I got pregnant with Noah, I made one for him, and also that year I cross-stitched a tree skirt. This year, nothin'. Maybe next year I'll be able to make another stocking. :)

Adios amigos!

Play places are like dog parks.

Play places are like dog parks- If your dog doesn't play well with others, don't take him to the dog park. If your kid can't walk by another kid without shoving, punching, grabbing him by his face to push him over, etc., don't take him to a play place. Now, if my kid could say, WALK, and was able to fend for himself a little bit, I'd let him take care of himself as long as no one was going to get really hurt. But, when some 3-year-old kid come over to my 1-year-old, who holding on to the wall just to stay standing, and is minding his own business, grabs Noah by his face and pushes him over, yeah, I have a problem with that. Let's just say I wouldn't have really felt all that bad if that kid had accidentally been stepped on.

Two for the price of one

Today there's 2 mini rants. Lucky you.

I went to Toys R Us with Noah to spend the rest of his birthday money. I wanted to get him some big ol' honkin' blocks and a push toy to help him with his walking. Classic kids toys, right? So, I went looking for the block section. You would THINK that they would put all of the similar toys together, right?! NO! Of course not! That would be too much like all the rest of the stores do it. We couldn't have that. That would make it much too easy for parents lugging around their kids around with them. No, they have everything sorted out by BRAND. So, if you don't know what brand the toy is that you're looking for, you're completely screwed. I went up and down the aisles looking for the blocks I wanted. First I tried the educational toys. I didn't find them there, but I DID find some with the arts and crafts. Makes perfect sense. Too bad those weren't the blocks I wanted. So we went up and down some more aisles. After about 15 minutes of this, I tried the Lego aisle in the "big kids" section, and behold, there they were! Of course! Why wouldn't I have thought to look with all the Lego sets first!? After all, blocks for a toddler should be with all the Lego's for 10+ or whatever the ages on those things are.

After we finally found the blocks, we went in search of the walker. I remembered from my previous trip to Toys R Us that all the big outside toys were in the back corner of the store, so that's where we headed. Yep, I found them. Too bad they were the $60 walkers instead of the $20 walker that I wanted. I had previously checked the website to make sure that this particular location had the one I wanted in stock, and now I couldn't find it. Oh, but wait, this is Toys R Us we're talking about. They wouldn't have all the walkers in one place. That would be too logical. No. Some of the walkers, the expensive ones, are in the back, all together, no matter what brand they are. The cheap walkers are sorted out by BRAND over with all the other baby toys. What is WRONG with them!? Why can't they stick to one lousy system? Either have everything sorted out by brand, or by toys. You can't have both. Or at least, you SHOULDN'T have both. So, after 40 minutes of wandering around Toys R Us, we got what we came for- blocks, and a walker. I'm not bitter at all.

Fog

So this time of year there's a lot of fog in Fresno and I frequently see on the news that there's a fog warning and "visibility is only 2 miles." Why does anyone need to be able to see that far? "Woops, I wouldn't have rear ended him if I would have been able to see for more than 2 miles." *rolls eyes*

Standing up!

Noah totally stood up by himself tonight! I was reading one of those books to him where he gets to lift up flaps, and the book was just a little too high for him to reach it sitting down, so, he stood up! I had such a "proud Mommy" moment. :) He did it a couple more times tonight, but of course, not when I wanted him to do it. Walking isn't too far off! Although, once he starts walking, I'll probably wish he would have stuck with the crawling.

He also discovered chocolate graham crackers today. He shoveled them in with both hands....I had to keep an extra close eye on him to make sure he didn't cram the whole thing into his mouth and choke himself...which he's been known to do.

So much for writing more often...

Well, as you can see, but plans to update often went down the tubes.

We took Noah to have his very first pumpkin patch experience a few weeks ago. He was definitely a fan. He loved seeing, and or course touching, all the pumpkins, riding in a wheelbarrow, sitting on the tractor, and best of all, seeing all the animals that this particular pumpkin patch had.

Noah is now officially whole year old. He had quite the busy day on his birthday. We went and had lunch with Daddy at his office and then we went to the park to feed the ducks and have lunch on the grass, and then we went home for a nap. After Daddy got home, bringing our friend Kyle with him, Noah had his very first chocolate and very first cupcake all in one. He then opened his presents, and proceeded to take the tissue paper and shake it in the cat's general direction for the sole purpose of annoying her. He thought it was just hilarious. (Although, so did we.) I think that right there was his favorite part of his birthday.

We also had his 12 month physical. He's a happy healthy little boy. Apparently he's disproportionate though. He's like a little teapot- short and stout. :) He's in the 30th percentile for height, and in the 75th percentile for weight. I think he gets a lot of that weight from all the muscles in his legs. He's like a little ninja turtle. *grin*

He's still not walking, but I think he's starting to build up the courage to give it a shot. He'll stand up for a couple seconds but then turns to me and falls into my arms. Besides that, I don't think he feels the need to walk- he's such a fast little crawler. :)

This week we discovered that there's a lot for Noah and I to do at one of our local malls. We went there intending to stay only about an hour this week. We walked around and looked at all the people, and the fountains, and then I decided that we could have lunch in the food court. I was planning on leaving after that, but then I found a little play area for young kids. They have plenty of places for parents to sit and watch their little ones, so that's what we did. Noah LOVED it. I set him down and he was off to play with all the toys and the other little kids.

He came back every 5-10 minutes to check in, but then he was off again. It was slightly bitter-sweet for me to see my baby go off by himself to play with the others. It was fun to see him so independent, but also a little sad that he isn't as dependent on me as he used to be. I guess I'd better get used to it though since that's my goal- to raise an adult, not to keep him dependent on Josh and I.

Josh and I are doin' just peachy. I'm starting to think about Christmas....I already got Josh his present, which I must say is AMA-ZA-ZING. I'm proud of myself for this one. *grin* I love getting gifts for people. Especially Josh.

In other news, back in July...yeah, July, I set a goal to lose 15lbs by my birthday (Nov. 5), and as of today, I've made it. Yay hoo! Now I'm setting another goal to lose 5lbs by Christmas....unless something happens that would cause me to gain weight instead of lose it. ;)

Toyboxes, Carseats, and Peanut Butter

I'm sitting on the couch right now watching Noah go through his toybox. I'm trying to blog more often because I really do miss writing. I did it all the time in highschool, but not so much anymore.

It's hard to believe that Noah's going to be a year old in only 10 days. It doesn't seem like it's been a whole year already. Some of those nights early on seems like a whole year by themselves, but looking back now, it doesn't seem like it's been that long. Last year at this time I was shopping for the last minute things to get ready for my new baby to come. Given, I thought he'd be here at the end of the month, or even early November, but he had other plans. I remember people stopping me in the stores wanting to know if I was due today or yesterday. I really was gigantic.

We're not planning on doing a whole lot for his birthday. I plan on making him a cake, and we have some presents for him, but we're not making a huge thing of it. I never really understood the point of huge first birthdays. I thought it might be one of those things I understood once I had a kid, but nope, I still don't get it. He'll get to stick his hand in his cake, and then unwrap his presents, most likely play with the wrapping paper for a while, we'll take lots of pictures, and that'll be it. Keep it simple stupid.

We recently turned his car seat around so he faces forward now like a big boy. It really was weird for me the first time he rode in it. It was almost like the first night he spent in his own room- a little milestone that shows that he's growing up. He's also tried peanut butter for the first time this week....another little perk that comes with turning 1. He loves it. He's only had a teeny tiny bit in case he has an allergic reaction, but he loved what he had. He grinned and his little eyebrows shot up the moment he tasted it. It was pretty cute. Takes after his in the peanut butter department. :)

Well, he gotten bored with his toybox and wants Momma so it's time for me to go.

Heaters and "kids"

First of all, let me just say how stupid our heater is. It's finally gotten cooler outside, so we've needed to use the heat the last few nights. Noah's room is the coldest one in the apartment, so I'm always a little worried about him being too cold. This morning Josh, who is tall enough to reach the stupid vents on the stupid ceiling, realized that the air coming out of them was not warm. It was acting more like a fan, which is not very useful when it's cold. So, I called the repair guy to come and check it for us. It seems like we go through this every year. Why can't the heater actually work when I turn it on. Anyway, he said that our hot water heater wasn't turned up high enough and that we need to leave the heat on all the time when it gets "real cold." Psh, they don't even know what "real cold" is here in the fricken desert. So, we're supposed to leave it on all the time when it's "real cold" except for when we use the hot water. We're supposed to turn it off then because we'll either run out of heat, or run out of hot water. Why can't we have heat AND hot water?!? Is that really too much to ask? I mean, the women in Darfur, when asked rank their top three concerns, list not having hot water and heat simultaneously as their #1 problem.

DISCLAIMER FOR THOSE THAT DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW ME: I don't actually think that having heat and hot water is worse than everything that happens to women in Darfur. It's just to point out that when you really think about it, my problem is not really all that big of a deal. I'm just whining about something very petty when you think about everything else going on in the world.

Now on to what I actually meant to write about. The last few days, as I've watched Noah play/terrorize our cat Virginia, I've realized that they really are very very similar. Scarily similar. First, a few of their personality similarities-

1. They're both very curious/destructive.

One of them is always getting into something. I can't even count how many times I've not been watching one of them really closely and I hear something fall....or even every mother's nightmare...the sound of several small objects scattering across the floor. If one of them isn't knocking something over, the other one is. I think they might actually have this planned.

2. They both take after me.

They both hurt themselves all the time. Noah doesn't pay attention to where he's crawling, very quickly I might add, and slams his little head into something. He hardly ever cries about it though. Probably 'cause I usually ignore it unless he starts crying on his own. Or, he'll go to play with the stereo, open the tape decks, and then smash his fingers trying to close them. Or he'll be looking at one of his many many books and not realize that when he turns the page, and then sits on the book, he's actually smashing his hand between the cardboard pages. Just two days ago Virginia was trying to hop up onto our TV. We're one of the cool people who has a very thick tv that I could pretty much use as a kitchen table if I needed to. How many people can say THAT about their TV? Not only that, but we have bunny ears. That makes us ultra cool. We're retro. All that to say that Virginia was trying to hop up on the TV to just hang out up there. She completely missed her mark and only got her front paws up and maybe one back one, lost her balance, slid backwards, and fell flat on her back taking the bunny ears with her. Who said that cats always land on their feet?

Not only do they have similar personality traits, but they like to do the same things.

They both...

1. ... like to chase laser pointers. I know most cats like to do this, but who knew babies like to do this too? It could just be mine though.
2. ...love books. Books are Noah's very favorite "toys." Virginia likes to sit on them.
3. ...just sit in laundry baskets. I understand the cat wanting to do it, Noah...it's a little weird.
4. ...try their best to make you think they're starving for attention.
5. ...love to play with shoe laces. Once again, normal cat thing. When Josh gets home from work and takes off his shoes, Noah makes a bee line to them to just sit and play with his shoe laces for 10-15 minutes. He likes Josh's shoe laces the best because they're a whole lot longer than mine.
6. ...like to look out the window. They usually do it together. It's very cute. It's almost like a Norman Rockwell painting.
7. ...think it's amazing to make paper crinkle and crackle. This is something else they like to do together. Noah crinkles it and laughs, Virginia pounces on the paper.
8. ...put their "hands" in the cat's water dish. I understand Noah on this one. He just loves to play in any water. Virginia though.....she dips her paw into her water dish, and then licks the water off of her paw. This is how she drinks the majority of the time. She's "right handed," by the way.
9. ...chase balls. They both push tennis balls around and then go chasing after them just to push them away again.

Having 10 would just be too predictable. We can't have that. To be a non-conformist you have to dress in black and listen to the same music we do.

My little boy is growing up!

Noah's seems to have aged a lot in the last couple weeks. He's a pro at crawling, and is now pulling himself up to standing at every chance he gets. He loves it when we help him walk and is also starting to "cruise" by walking along furniture. He's also gotten 5 teeth in all at once. We bought him his very first toothbrush yesterday. He thinks it's funny to brush his teeth. It's very cute to watch him try to laugh with a toothbrush in his mouth. :)

Noah at the park playing in the creek with Momma.

Feeding the ducks.

Already practicing for his future as a percussionist.

Playing outside.

My Goals/New website

So I recently joined a gym. I've decided that I want to try to lose 15-20lbs by my birthday at the beginning of November. I think that's a pretty realistic goal. That's less than 2lbs a week, and from what I've read, that's how much per week you're supposed to lose.

I've been looking around on the internet the past few days trying to figure out exactly how I should be working out and everything, and trying to find healthy recipies that taste decent (Maybe even Josh will like them) and I ran across this health forum. It's got a ton of info about how women specifically can lose weight and general nutritional information. It even has a section about how to save money in general, which I'm all about. Anyway, just thought I'd share.

Politically correct childrens songs

Every night Noah and I have a routine. Well, actually, we have a routine for the entire day, but this story really only applies to the bedtime routine.

I give him his bath, and then I feed him in his room, while singing to him, before he goes to bed.

A few nights ago I was singing "Jesus Loves the Little Children," and I thought, "wow, this is really politically incorrect." So I thought I'd write the politically correct version of it. It would go something like this-

A higher being has a non-sexual agape feeling for the young people

All the young people of the world

Indian, Asian, African-American, and caucasion,

They are precious in his visual abilities

A higher being has a non-sexual agape feeling for the young people of the world

Today I.....

I finished my tree skirt today! I got this thing for Christmas 2 years ago. I finished the stitching on it last January, and had to wait to get a sewing machine to finish the rest of it. I got a sewing machine for Mother's Day so.....today I finished it. Yay hoo!

All is well

We're all still alive here in the Brahm house. I just thought I'd give a quick update. Noah will officially be 6 months old in a couple days. He can sit up by himself now for a few minutes before he tips over. He also likes to hold on to stuff so that he can stand up by himself. He's getting so big! He's very tactile. He tries to touch everything. His hands never stop moving. We just got his "big boy seat" in the mail today. He's grown out of his infant seat so we had to get him a new one. I found a good deal on one at Costco. Yay hoo! Now Momma just has to figure out how to get the thing installed in the car.

We have a pediatricians appointment on Tuesday. We'll get to see how many billion pounds this little boy weighs. He's gotta be at least 20lbs. He's also getting some more shots. He's done pretty well with the last two sets of shots, so hopefully we won't have any problems this time either.

We're planning on going to GA a week from today. I'm a little nervous about taking Noah on the plane. He was awesome last time, but he was only 2 months old then and slept all the time. Now he doesn't sleep nearly as much, and is much more active. He does seem to be a pretty happy camper when there's people around for him to watch, so hopefully he'll be a happy boy on the plane. Maybe we'll get a window seat....he loves to look out windows.

We're going to be there for about 10 days, I think. We have some family coming down from Ohio to visit us. Noah's going to meet his other set of great-grandparents, a great aunt, and see Momma's cousin Amy again. It'll be quite the trip for Lil' Bit.

Time to actually attempt to get something done.

Adios!

12 Ways to Know You Might Be a Mommy

Most of these have to do with being to a mommy to a baby specifically, but parents of older kids probably still remember what I'm talking about.

You might be a mommy if...

...you know that car seats have expiration dates.

...most of your reading material is printed on cardboard.

...after being thrown up on, you clean up the baby before you clean up yourself.

...you find yourself swaying....when the baby is nowhere around.

...you know that there are more than one size of pacifier.

...you get excited when diapers are on sale.

...you own miniature hangers.

...you name stuffed animals regularly. (Ok, so that one might just be me.)

...you talk about yourself in the third person....several times a day. (Momma's gonna get you!)

...you know what the ratio of formula to water is without even thinking about it.

...you plan your alcohol consumption well in advance.

...your dates are based around someone else's schedule....your babysitter's.

Noah's first food

This chair thing is pretty nifty.

This is NOT milk.

Hmmm...this stuff isn't too bad!

Forget the spoon...finger food!!!

Special Little Boy

Just wanted to show off my little boy.

Naps

Why is the phrase "taking a nap"? It's as if I'm not allowed to have a nap and I need to take it for some reason. I think that after taking care of a baby most of the day, and getting up during the night with him, I am fully entitled to a nap every once in a while. Therefore, I will no longer say "taking a nap." The phrase will now be "having a nap." Join me in changing the world one phrase at a time.

American Idol. Again.

Group Song

They should all stop dancing. Now.

American Idol Commentary

Kai Kalama

I want to set something on his head.

Jasmine Murray

Where's the other half of her forehead?

Jesse Langseth

Found it!

(Credit for the last one goes to my husband, Josh. Ain't 'e funny? Hehe)

Plane tickets

I was online buying plane tickets for our next trip back to GA and since we'll have a 6 month old baby, I was looking at the options for "special services." I thought that maybe a baby would fit into this catagory and I could request which section of the plane we sat in. Turns out that's not the case. I did find something else I thought was interesting. Stretcher assistance. Yeah, apparently there are people who know in advance that they need this service. "Uh, yeah, I think I may be severely maimed at some point on this trip and might need some assistance with my stretcher." Really?

Just for fun

How to Give Your Pet Rock a Bath

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

There are lots of ways to keep your rock clean and tidy, but this is one of the best methods.

Steps

1. First, get something like a bowl, or sink to bathe your rock.
   
2. Get a bottle of shampoo and put on a small dot of shampoo on only one side. Then rub, and repeat on the other side.
   
3. Rinse!! To really get that sparkle on your rock, put on an extra blob of shampoo and scrub the rock really hard in your hands, then rinse. Scrub like you were actually washing your hands.
   
4. Then wrap up your rock in either a napkin or a small towel, it doesn't matter.
   
5. Congrats, you now have a healthier cleaner rock!
   

Tips

• Rough skinned rocks will need more cleaning and attention to cleaning because there will be more cracks and crevices for dirt to get into.
  
• Make sure you have warm water in the bowl!
  

Warnings

• Don't use water that is to hot! You can burn your dear rock and yourself!
  

Things You'll Need

• Warm water
  
• Bowl
  
• Towel/napkin
  
• Shampoo
  

My pudding

Now made with fresh cream?

This is an improvement?

What was it made with before?

Things I Wish Were Around When I Was A Baby

Today I was changing Noah's diaper and as I pulled out the diaper wipe out from the wipe warmer I thought, "Where were the wipe warmers when I was a baby?" There's a whole lot of new stuff out now that I wish would have been around when I was a baby. I don't really remember the cold wipes, but I would think it would be a lot nicer to have warm ones.

There are also chicken pox vaccinations now. I don't understand why babies need to be vaccinated against chicken pox. I got the chicken pox as a kid and I turned out all right. Chicken pox teaches kids self dicipline. Think about it, how much did you want to scratch those things? But no, your mom always said you couldn't. That right there, self dicipline.

Noah's Johnny Jump-Up is also a lot cooler than mine was. Mine was yellow with a kangaroo on it. His is all different colors and has all kinds of toys on it. It's got mirrors and everything. I bet I would have liked mirrors. *pout*

The baby moniter is just about the coolest thing ever. It's got a motion detecter that is so sensitive that it can tell through the matress if he's breathing or not. If he stops breathing for more than 40 seconds it sets off an alarm. I sure do appreciate it, but I imagine life is a lot more interesting for parents who don't have it.

His swing turns into a chair. How cool is that. I want a swing that turns into a chair. I would just be happy with a swing. He better appreciate that chair.

The little one is starting to wake up from his nap so it's time for this momma to go.

Noah's week, and Top 3 Creepy People

Noah started to roll over today. The day after he turned a whole three months old. My little boy is growing up so fast. *sniff sniff* He also got a Johnny Jump-Up last weekend. The box says four months and up, but he's been standing up, while being held of course, since he was about a month old, and lately he's been trying to jump, so I thought we'd give it a try. As of now, he hasn't quite figured out that

he's supposed to jump while he's in it....he just kinda spins, but he has fun anyway. I think he likes being able to do something that Mommy doesn't have to help him with.

He's also started to sleep at least eight hours during the night without waking up, so that's been especially nice for me and Josh. Noah has had quite the developmental week this week.

Last night I was up feeding Noah and for some reason started thinking about all the strange and creepy people that seem to gravitate towards me, and I thought I'd share.

The Top 3 Strange Creeps

My last three jobs have been working in coffee shops. I started at Starbucks in 2006, left in 2007 for a small family owned coffee shop, with a manual bar, I might add, and then after moving to Fresno went back to Starbucks at the beginning of 2008. I have come across at least one creepy person at all three places.

First, I have an honorable mention. I've noticed that three of the four characters I'm mentioning wear just one dangly earring. This must be a creepy person thing. This is definitely true of my honorable mention.

Honorable Mention- Captain Jack Sparrow

I don't know his name, and even if I did, I probably wouldn't use it. This is the only CA creepy person on the list. I think he pretty much embodies what people on the East Coast think of CA when they think of people here- A bongo-playing hippie who eats granola and drinks soy....and wears a single dangly earring. Kinda reminds me of Johnny Depp's character in Pirates of the Carribian. Not only did he wear the single earring, but offers to make ONE for others as well. Maybe if there were TWO earrings more people would take him up on his oh-so-tempting offer. I never really had any exceptionally strange encouters with this person until he found out I was pregnant with Noah. He decided to tell the future for me and my unborn child. Apparently there was going to be a problem with the baby, but it was all going to turn out all right in the end. He said I was going to have a boy. He happened to be right on that one, but he had a 50/50 chance, so I'm not impressed. On and on he went predicting things that were either way, way off, or things that were likely to happen to anyone. Like morning sickness. He must be the real deal.

#3- Odessa

Just the name "Odessa" gives you a pretty good mental image

of this person. I first met her when she came to apply for a job. She showed up on a bike, and after walking slowly around the building and walking through the drive-through several times she decided the building was good enough for her to come in. She asked for a cup of water. Then went back outside to walk around the building again and then into the bathroom. I have no idea what she was doing in there, but she came back in several minutes later to get an application. Guess the bathroom was the deciding factor in whether or not she wanted to work there.

Her dangly earring was the creepiest of them all. It was a hand. Just one, long, skinny hand hanging from her ear. Apparently it was there for some sort of protection. She was 29 years old and looked like she was 12. She kinda looked like Mr. Tumnus. She was an artist. Her pants were always too short and she wore the strangest socks I've ever seen, and would offer to buy others the same socks so that they could match at work. She carried around her purse which was a teddy bear and she would sit, stare off into space, and randomly stroke the thing. She had lots and lots of pets. She asked me how my uterus was. My uterus seems to be a popular topic as you will soon find out.

#2- Craig

In my experience anyone named "Craig" is usually just a little strange. I met Craig my first day at Starbucks. He had long stringy, obviously colored black hair. He was a regular, and the pickiest customer I have ever had. He ordered a quad venti organic 180 degree no-foam latte. If there was a single bubble on top of his latte he would either insist that you give him his latte for free, or make you remake the entire drink. Just scooping the bubble off was not good enough. Craig also had a dangly earring. I think it was a dream catcher.

He noticed I was new, wanted to know my name, and then proceded to ask me if I had ever heard of Daryl Hannah. Hasn't everyone heard of Daryl Hannah? He then asked me if I had seen her in "the stripper movie" and then went on to tell me all the details of it. What would possess a person to talk to someone whom they've never met before about the details of stripping? Over the next few weeks he asked reptitively if I had seen it yet. Ick.

Later on he would probe about the details of my life, and tell me why he thought that me being married was such a horrible thing. I think one of the most inappropriate things he ever asked was if I was on The Pill or not. This however, does not even come close to the inappropriatness of my #1.

#1 Creepy Guy

I never found out this guy's name, I just always called him Creepy Guy. Not to his face of course. I avoided saying anything to his face.

At the time, I worked at the little famiy-owned coffee shop. The way this place worked was that the opener would arrive at 5am, alone and unprotected, get everything ready, and then open the place at 5:30am. The second employee would show up at 6am to help. Creepy Guy always showed up at 5:30am- When I was there by myself. Creepy guy was probably in his 50's, had shoulder length grey hair, but was bald on top, and typically wore it in a ponytail; A high ponytail, not a low ponytail like most men do. The first day he just wanted to know my name, and a little bit about me. Not too creepy. I thought maybe the strange-looking guy was just being friendly. A few days later he noticed my wedding ring.

"You married?"

"Yes"

"How long?"

"Year and a half."

"Oh, ok."

Slighty strange, but didn't freak me out yet. A few days later he was back.

"Have kids?"

"No, not yet."

"Why not."

"We just haven't had kids yet."

He then proceeded to give me a full body look over.

"Well, I know these things, and that belly is ready to have a kid in it."

I was stunned.

Two days later he was back.

"Pregnant yet?"

"No."

"Why not."

"I'm just not."

"Oh, ok."

At this point I did everything I could to avoid him, but when I was the only one there, there's not very much I can do except to try to have his drink ready for him before he even walked in the store to try to minimize the time he was actually in the building. Next visit-

"Pregnant yet?"

"No."

"Well, you're still married, right?"

"Yes."

"Do you know where to find your husband?"

"Yes."

"So then, what's the problem?"

Next day-

"Pregnant yet?"

"NO."

"You're married?"

"YES."

"And you know where to find your husband?"

"YES."

This went on for several months. Then one day, I was pregnant.

"Pregnant yet?"

"Yes, 2 months."

"Oh."

And that was the end of it. No congratulations, no nothing, just an "oh." That is the creepiest person I have ever met in my life.

Satellite Dishes and the top 10 Things I Miss About Atlanta

Yesterday I noticed that a button on Josh's pants was shaped very much like a miniature satellite dish. I thought that all it needed was the Dish Network logo. I took care of that. So, I thought I'd share.

Also, as I was playing with Noah today, for some reason I started thinking about our trip back to Georgia that we made for Christmas and all the things that I realized I missed since moving here. So, once again, I thought I'd enlighten you all to the goings on in my mind.

10 Things I Miss About Atlanta

#10- Stop Lights on Wires

What is more exciting than sitting at an intersection at a stop light before a storm and watching the light itself danging around on a wire being blown around by the wind. The thought actually crosses your mind that it's very possible that this light might just fall right there in front of your car making for an excellent story to tell later. Here in Fresno, the lights are fastened very securely to poles. Now where is the fun in that?

#9 School Zones

In Atlanta they have school zone speed limit signs set up with lights on them. If the lights are flashing, you go the reduced speed. If the lights are off, you can keep going the normal speed. Here in Fresno, they apparently haven't ever heard of this concept. Here, the speed limit signs in the school zones just say "35 when children are present." No lights, not even a "between 7am-9am." First of all, I don't think the highschoolers appreciate this because they don't want anyone to think of them as children. More importantly, it isn't clear about when you can go 50mph, and when you have to go 35mph. What if there are kids at recess on the other side of the fence? Do you have to go 35mph then? Or what about at 5pm after school is out and there's one lonely kid walking on the sidewalk on their way to Granny's house? They really should be more specific.

#8- Lines AND Crosswalks

Here in Fresno there are no markings on the road for where you're supposed to stop when you come to a stoplight. There's just a cross walk. Some people, like my husband for example, are impatient when it comes to stoplights and just want to trip the sensor so that the light will change as soon as possible. In Atlanta, there would always be a line for where you should stop and where the sensor is and then past that, there would be the crosswalk. No one here in Fresno seems to have thought of this brilliant idea. They just have the crosswalk. The best part is, that the cops have been known to give tickets for having the front of your car blocking the crosswalk just a teeny tiny bit. If they would just put the lines on the roads, we'd be able to eliminate the problem of the crosswalk blocking.

#7- Highway signs

Let's say Josh and I are going out of town during lunch time. We're hungry, and woops, we don't have our GPS. We want to eat at Burger King. How are we going to know which exit to get off on to eat at a Burger King? You see, in Atlanta, we would know because there are signs before all the exits saying what fast food places are near the off ramp. It's an ingenious idea. Fresno should try it.

#6- Chicken

This is something Josh and I really miss about Atlanta. Chicken. Well, at least good chicken. See, in Atlanta there are two somewhat cheap restaurant chains that have very good chicken. Given, one of them, Chick-fil-a is starting to come out to CA. We recently got one here in Fresno, but there's only one. In Atlanta, you can't throw a

dead cat without hitting a Chick-fil-a. I haven't actually tried the flinging of the felines, but I'm pretty sure that it's an accurate assumption.

The other restaurant that hasn't yet made it's way to

CA is Zaxby's. It's amazing. When we were back in Atlanta for Christmas I think we ate there about every other day trying to get our Zaxby's fix. There is nothing like the Zax Snacks and Zax Sauce

#5- Curvy Roads

Here in Fresno, and the West in general, the roads are very

grid like. There are no surprises. Nothing. It's very boring. In Atlanta, and the East in general, the roads are curvy. You never know exactly which direction you're going and even if you do, you won't be going that same direction for very long. It's full of surprises. There are rarely times when you can sit at a light on the crosswalk and see the next intersection directly in front of you.

#4- Trees

Atlanta has a surplus of trees growing naturally. Fresno has much fewer trees which grow in rows. Trees are not supposed to be organized.

#3- Waffle House

Waffle House really doesn't have great food; it's just a staple of the South. They're everywhere. Remember the cat throwing? You

wouldn't even have to throw the cat to hit a Waffle House.

Just swing it in a large arc, and I think you'd hit a few of them.

#2- Gas Stations

Not all gas stations are created equal. In Atlanta, there are good gas stations. Nice gas stations. Even gas stations that are pleasant. The nice gas stations in Atlanta, Quick Trip, BP, and RaceTrack, not only have extra cheap gas, but are filled with wonderful things like milkshakes (thin, thick or extra thick), and several flavors of hot chocolate and cappochinos. Let's not forget the taquitos, hotdogs, and sandwiches. You can go into gas stations there and not feel like you have to be prepared to hit the floor when the gunman walks in. It's a nice feeling.

#1- Sweet Tea

Here in CA if I order a sweet tea I get a spoon, and usually get pointed to the sugar packets on the table. The exception is McDonalds, but their tea is beyond sweet. It is almost like a liquid tea-flavored jelly bean. It's still the closet thing there is to actual sweet tea in Fresno, so I've been known to drink it. You see, to make sweet tea, you have to put sugar in it while it's still HOT. This way, the sugar actually dissolves and doesn't just spin around in the glass doing its best imitation of a snow globe. I don't think it's that hard to do. In fact, I know it's not that hard to do. I do it every couple days myself and it takes a whopping 20 minutes to make. Including boiling the water, and steeping the tea bags. Is sweetened tea really too much to ask for? It's cold, refreshing, has anti-oxidants, and you have the option to have it with lemon or not. Why can't Californians understand this?